Alam nyo may nagmamahal sa akin. Tapat at hindi nang-iiwan. Naalala ko nga noon a year before my high school graduation nandyan na siya, nagsusumiksik at nagpipilit. Pero ayoko sa kanya… ewan ko, basta ayoko, ganon lang _ AYOKO!... Mayroon akong gusto kaya lang ayaw sa kanya ng nanay ko, pero yun, yun talaga ang gusto ko.
Then after finishing high school pinapili ako ng nanay ko sa kanilang dalawa, siyempre yung gusto ng nanay ko ang pinili ko (nanay yun eh!)… Yung gusto ng puso ko kinalimutan ko na lang – no choice!... Kainis nga e. So, ang nangyari ng mag-college na ako kasama ko siya, sunod ng sunod. But before the end of 1st sem, naibagsak ko ang math subject ko – nakakahiya di ba?... So, sabi ko ‘what an escape goat’, dahil doon iiwanan na nya ako, pero alam mong nangyari? Gumawa pa siya ng paraan para hindi kami magkahiwalay. Kung paano, hindi ko alam!
At nagpatuloy pa din ang drama naming dalawa – ayoko sa kanya, pero nandiyan pa din siya para sa akin. Hanggang sa hindi ko na namalayan ang paglipas ng panahon _ graduating na pala ako, at as usual, nandyan pa din siya na walang sawang nagmamahal at sumusuporta sa akin kahit na wala akong pinapakitang interes sa kanya. Nakokonsensya na ko minsan pero sabi ko, siguro darating din yung panahon na bibigyan ko siya ng pansin at mamahalin gaya ng pagmamahal niya sa akin.
At dumatig na nga ang panahon na yon, that was board exam. Panahon na harap-harapan ko na siyang pinagwawalang-bahala. Panahong nakikipagsugal ako at siya ang tinataya ko. Pero talaga yatang ganon nya ako kamahal. Ganon siya ka-desidido na makasama ako habang buhay… kahit hindi ko pa siya lubusang minamahal, gumawa na siya ng paraan para kami na talaga_ for life!... At eto pa, ang gusto lang nya_ gamitin ko siya sa tama at nararapat na paraan _ masaya na siya. Kaya ginamit ko nga siya at ngayon ay natutunan ko na rin siyang mahalin.
Alam nyo ba kung sino siya?
Siya’y walang iba kundi ang pinagmamalaki kong PROPESYON!
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alas-5 ng umaga, babangon upang makipag gitgitan sa trapiko para umabot sa takdang oras na ibinigay sa kausap o di kaya sa maghapong meeting upang pag-usapan o bigyan ng solusyon ang problema sa opisina.
alas-2 ng hapon, pinaka maagang tanghalian kasabay ng pagnguya ay mga tambak ng pinipirmahang papeles
alas-5 ng hapon, may dadaluhan ulit meeting o salo-salo na kailangan ng kanyang presensiya.
alas-9 ng gabi dadating sa bahay ng pagod-na pagod. hahawak pa ulit ng mga dokumento upang pasadahan ang maghapong gawain o ang kakaharapin sa pagising kinabukasan.
at matutulog ng pagod at hapo ang isip upang harapin ulit ang bukas
O
Ang MAHIHIRAP?
alas-10 ng umaga babangon, mag iinat, magbubuklat ng laman ng kusina kakain, uupo, magbabasa ng diyaryo, maninigarilyo, hihilata sa papag.
alas-12 ng tanghali, kakain ng tanghalian, manunuod ng tv habang himas-himas ang tiyan.
alas-3 lalabas ng bahay, magsasabong / mag mamahjong / magto-tongits / magbibingo / makikipag-tsismisan sa kanto
alas -7 ng gabi kakain ng hapunan at maya-maya ay pupuwesto na sa kanto upang makipag-inuman ng walang humpay
alas-2 ng madaling araw dadating sa bahay ng pakanta-kanta, papaswit-paswit
at matutulog ng mahimbing upang harapin ulit ang bukas.
5. What's the most delicious meal you've ever had?
Lechon kawali na ang sawsaan ay patis at yung kanin may sabaw ng sinigang! yummmmyyy!!! Delete Your Response
6. Are you afraid of dying?
Hindi... lahat tayo doon papunta... nakakatakot lang yung malaman na aalis ako ng wala man lang pala akong maiiwan na magandang alaala sa mga mahal sa buhay o aral sa mga kaibigan... Delete Your Response
my life as it is - good and bad experiences, hurts, disappointments, frustrations, wounded heart - lessons learned from these emotions , those are my medals which inspires me to go on in life Delete Your Response
8. given one day of power, how and where are you going to use it?
I would like to have the power to dissolve all garbage's in the world... seriously!
I started writing 1993. Mga poems, thoughts or kung ano-ano lang. Nandito din lahat ng addresses and birthdays ng mga close friends and people I love. I almost lost this book. Naiwanan ko siya sa Mercury Novaliches kung saan ako nag-work at nadestino dati. 3 years din siya nahiwalay sa akin. Tapos nung mapasa-kamay ko na, nawala ulit siya ng 2 taon. hindi ko alam kung saan napunta o nawaglit lang sa loob ng bahay namin dahil sa ilang pagbaha na nangyari dito sa Hagonoy.
This is where I get my blog entries for the meantime. Sinasalin ko muna hanggat wala pang gana ang utak at mga kamay ko na gumawa ng bago. Kasi naaalala ko noon, nakakapagsulat lang ako kapag malungkot ako, wasak ang puso ko, o may dinaramdam ako na hindi maganda. Ang date ng huling entry ko sa libro na ito was October 2009.
3 bagay ang pumasok sa isip ko kung bakit kailangan ko pang i-share sa inyo to:
Una, gusto kong ipagmayabang na kahit papano may talento ako sa pagsusulat.
Pangalawa, natutuwa ako na nasa akin na ulit ang libro ko.
at Pangatlo, gusto ko lang sabihin na anim (6) na buwan na pala akong masaya.
Kalimutan nyo na lang ung pangatlo, at mag-concentrate na lang tayo sa dalawang nauna...
I was hesitant to go to school, gusto ko teacher lang, but my mother wants me to become a Nurse. So, yon nag-enrol ako sa nursing school. I met a lot of people, I failed my math subject. I thought after that I can convince my Nanay to shift my course, kaya lang ayon, awa ng Diyos, I passed 1st and 2nd sem.
Ang tanong _ magka-capping kaya ako?
2ND YEAR COLLEGE
I passed 2nd year 1st sem so, I was in the capping list na. Nakakatuwa because I’m really not exerting much effort yet naipapasa ko pa rin ang subjects ko. I gained lots of friends and had boyfriend too, yun nga lang palpak ang lovelife ko… kelan kaya darating si Romeo ko. Pero okay lang, darating naman yun I know.
The question is _ I passed 2nd year, 2nd sem, pero makakaya ko kaya ang mga duties?
3rd YEAR COLLEGE
If not of the patient’s siguro sumuko na talaga ako. Buti na lang I’m a peoples person. Kaya yon, I begin to like my course na. Through our duties nagamit ko naman yung ilusyon ko na maging teacher especially in CHN during Mother’s Class. So, again with flying colors I passed my 3rd year, 1st and 2nd sem.
Kaya lang, makaka-graduate kaya ako?
4th YEAR COLLEGE
At last! I accepted and love my course na. Syempre naman nasa graduating list na ko noh!. But this is the most painful part of all. Imagine mo for four years of being together maghihiwa-hiwalay din pala kayo. Magkikita-kita pa kaya kami? But that is not the question_
Maipapasa kaya naming ang Pre-board exam?
PRE-BOARD EXAM
Well, through prayers, I passed the pre-board exam. Yun nga lang pasang-awa ang score ko - 75%... eh ano, yes or no lang naman ang sagot dun – pasado ka? – YES!
E paano na sa Board Exam?
BOARD EXAM
Grabe! I passed my course for four years huh, plus the pre-board without exerting so much effort na ginawa ko sa board exam e mukha yatang tagilid pa. Pero di bale, nag-pray naman ako kay St. Jude, kay St. Claire, kay Mama Mary at almost all saints, not to mention Brother Jesus and God the Father.
Hmm whether or not I pass the Board Exam, eh ano, wala naman akong balak magtrabaho sa hospital. Di ba nga, I really don’t like nursing?!
So, saan ka magta-trabaho?
( eh… kahit saan )
Anong klaseng trabaho?
( ah… basta kahit ano )
Makakahanap ka ba agad?
Hay naku naman, wala na ba talagang katapusan ito, I thought after graduating college tapos na.
When we were younger,
I used to dream about you.
I used to admire you.
I used to think about us getting close.
You to noticed me, and or just gazed into my side.
But you never seemed to like me, for I was a typical elementary girl then who loves to play Chinese garter, paper dolls, and jack and stone. Never minding the world around me, nor the lady’s stuff which some of our classmates does at an early age.
Maybe that’s the reason why I never caught your attention. I’m not a stunner then. For I am not the type of girl you want your friends to tease with you. I was nobody then in short. We still see each other not so often after graduation. But just like that, you still had that look on me _ an ordinary acquaintance. Years passed and with me was the notion that I’m not your kind of girl. And that you were not going to like someone like me_ ever! Not until that get together night.
After so many years we had the chance of talking alone, but just the usual conversation of a long time-no-see classmates. About the life we have had, our experiences, the things that surprisingly we have in common. About some people who are special to us.
It was way past midnight yet neither one of us wanted to go to call it a day though there’s none we could talked about. We almost talked about anything and everything. Then to my surprised, you took my hand, kissed it, and I’m shocked! And suddenly, you began talking about you watching me all night, that I’ve changed a lot, that I am pretty, that you’re beginning to like me.
I didn’t know what to say. But that night while holding my hand, my memories of dreaming of you flashed back. All along I thought it was gone. The feeling that I had once kept in my childish heart – it rushed all back again. Call it foolishness, but no ones going to buy what you have said but I did. You even asked me to hug you.
The whole night I let my feelings moved me. I let my ears listen to your sweet revelation though I didn’t know if you just made it all up, though I didn’t know if you just took advantage of us being alone, in the still of the night. For not one of us can deny that it was indeed a very romantic evening… the rain… the cool breeze… its perfect.
All I knew was that the feeling that was once suppressed was given life even for a night.
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